"Jim's just... there."

The words that haunted me for years. I was the good kid who never spoke up, never took risks, never made waves. I was a supporting character in my own life - watching everyone else live while I stayed safely in the shadows.

But here's what I've learned: The difference between a supporting character and main character isn't talent, luck, or even circumstance.

In this newsletter, we'll go over exactly what that difference is and how to step back into your spotlight.

I always acted like the good kid. Terrified to make a mistake that would damage any reputation I may have. And so I rarely spoke.

I was just... there.

When that kid said those words about me, one part of me was seething.

But another part of me knew he was right.

I had strong views and feelings. But I never showed them to anyone but my closest friends. My brain determined that the risk of being disliked was greater than that of being myself.

Every kid thinks they're the main character. In fact, they are incapable of thinking otherwise.

In psychology, they call this Theory of Mind. Until your brain develops to a certain point (between ages 4-7), you literally can't understand that other people's beliefs differ from your own.

That's what makes children so pure. They aren't acting.

Then social conditioning kicks in: parental pressure, the need to fit in. And we begin diluting ourselves.

If you're naturally agreeable - or socially conditioned to be - you begin trading authenticity for acceptance.

You get trapped in the psychological prison of other people's expectations:

Because you're intelligent, you realize the world rewards compliance and punishes authenticity - at least in the short term. Eventually, external validation feels safer than self-trust.

Your intelligence betrays you into playing the role that's expected of you rather than the one you silently dreamed of. You become a method actor who forgot they were acting.

And so you step out of the spotlight, looking to others for how to live your own life.

Being the main character of your life means having agency - the capacity to act without asking for permission.

The misconception is that your life changes once an external result is met. Becoming a millionaire. Getting married.

That belief is dangerous. It's how you dissolve your own power.

I felt stuck for two decades because I was obsessed with outcomes.

I attached my decisions to things outside my control:

Instead of focusing on what I could control:

This subtle shift changes everything. You can't force the cards. But you can play your best hand.

When you hand the script over to things outside your control, you surrender your agency.

Most people think: Belief → Action. Get confident, then act.

In my experience, it's the opposite: Action → Belief → More Action.

At Google, I told myself I was free. I had options. I could leave if I wanted to. I reminded myself daily, desperately trying to feel in control. But deep down, I knew I was terrified.

That gap between affirmation fantasy and actual reality made me feel even more out of control of my life.

It wasn't until I actually took mental health leave from Google that I rekindled belief in myself.

From that day onward, I kept breaking past my limiting beliefs:

"I can't support myself without corporate." Made $4k online in my first few months.

"I'm too introverted for social media." Built 100k+ followers and hosted a meetup on the other side of the world.

Even now, I am aware I have limiting beliefs. But the difference now is that I understand the only way through them is action.

This is your 4-step method to step back into your spotlight:

Most of your beliefs aren't even yours. They're hand-me-downs from parents, teachers, society.

Ask yourself:

When I audited my "corporate job = the right thing" belief, I realized it came from my immigrant parents who equated stability with survival. Absolutely valid for them. We form our beliefs around our experiences.

But for me, as someone who grew up with privilege, more stability wasn't my purpose. Especially not at the cost of authenticity.

Question your beliefs.
Dive into your subconscious mind.

The beliefs that feel most obvious, the ones you think are just "reality", are usually the most inherited.

Ask: "What would you do if you were guaranteed to succeed?"

If your answer doesn't feel at least slightly delusional, you're not being truthful.

And if you're not moving toward it, you're playing someone else's game.

If you don't know where to start, go back to childhood - what activities could you simply do all day? For me, one of them was making YouTube videos. Ironically, at 27 years old, I'm now creating content including videos.

Discomfort is the price of admission to your real life.

But here's the thing: discomfort is inevitable - whether you live authentically or not.

Everyone at some point must choose: Accept the discomfort of being who you really are? Or accept the pain of regret?

The number one regret of dying people: "I wish I'd had the courage to live a life that was true to myself."

Accept the cost.

Identify your "filing for leave" moment - the one action that scares you most. That's probably your next move.

Modern risk isn't what our evolutionary brains believe. Taking leave doesn't mean starvation. Posting authentic thoughts online doesn't end careers.

Resolving to quit my job with no plan felt insane. In hindsight, it feels trivial.

Don't wait for belief to create action. Take action to create belief. Trust that reality bends to meet conviction, not the other way around.

We live in the greatest era for individual sovereignty in human history.

In the past, living as your own main character simply wasn't possible for most people. Hierarchies, slavery, and the absence of leverage except for the elite.

Now? ChatGPT teaches you anything. You can reach millions of people through content with just your phone. No permission needed. No Harvard MBA, connections, or trust fund required.

Modern society now rewards authenticity over perfection. Consistency over brilliance. Courage over credentials.

This is the most opportunity-rich time in human history.

I believe personal branding is the modern cheat code - the ultimate leverage machine.

I used to have to ask for opportunities. Now, opportunities come to me: startup roles, brand deals, masterminds with other creators.

I used to have to ask for a seat at the table. Now I have to learn to say no. It's insane.

What is a personal brand? Simply put: it's you, at scale.

This doesn’t mean becoming a fake influencer. Or a hyper-niche entrepreneur. It means being known for what you want to be known for - and using that visibility to open doors.

While I have to acknowledge luck was a factor in my journey, I never would have positioned myself for luck without starting.

That's why I'm hosting a free 30-day personal brand challenge starting July 7. No guarantees, no promises - just an opportunity to overcome fear and rewire your identity into someone who ships content. Someone who acts.

By the end of 30 days, you’ll have a brand that reflects who you actually are. Over 700 people have already joined.

If you're serious about starting, join the challenge here.

Talk soon,
Jim